Autumn Reflection

My intention was for this article to be a bit of a guide on non-judgemental reflection. It’s ended up being a bit of a hodgepodge, but hopefully still relevant to the theme…

Autumn is traditionally a time of harvest and feasts, a time to reap the benefits of the seeds that were sewn at the start of the year and tended to over the months. It’s a time to take stock and prepare for the winter.

Autumn is a transition; from the growth and warmth of the summer to the cold, damp, dark silence of the winter. It can feel like a transition inside as well as out; from energy to lethargy, from activity to rest.

As such, it can be, if you like, a good time to turn the focus more inwards, to become more introspective. Perhaps, you find that you do so naturally. And if we take a lesson from tradition; it can be a time to metaphorically harvest and take stock of the seeds we may have planted at the start of the year, the efforts we put into reaching our goals. And to prepare the resources we may need for the winter (if you’re seasonally-affected like me, this is really important to winter wellbeing), and start to think about what metaphorical seeds we may want to plant next year.

So, this is me acknowledging (and trying to accept) my energy levels dropping, my growing tendency towards introversion and introspection. And encouraging myself, and hopefully you, to see it as a natural transition that has a purpose in itself – a time to reflect on what we’ve experienced, accomplished, and survived throughout the year.

I believe that reflection is an important and necessary part of taking control of our growth. It’s reflection that allows us to learn from our experiences, to evaluate where we are and how we might want it to change, and to guide the direction in which we develop.

Try to reflect without judgement. It’s easy to look back on the year, and think we could have, should have done more, or achieved more. But remember it’s easy to say things in retrospect. Retrospective judgement doesn’t take into account what you were living, or surviving, at the time. It doesn’t take into account how you were feeling, whether you were suffering, or tired, or busy, or confused. It doesn’t take into account that you may have been ignorant then, of what you now know.

Maybe we can see some progress or growth, maybe we can see benefits from the opportunities we took, results from our effort and work. Maybe we can feel some satisfaction, contentment, or pride when harvesting the fruits of our labour. But maybe not, and that’s also ok. Maybe that means trying to look at it in a different light, with different measures of success or growth. Maybe it means reassessing our expectations, or the path we’re on, creating a little change, or changing direction entirely. Maybe it means being patient or trying again.

And maybe this year we need to be particularly gentle in our reflection. I think it’s safe to say that the coronavirus pandemic and its consequences have cost us. The vast majority of us have experienced loss of some sort; loss of freedom, loss of stability, security, work, income, meaningful activity, health, holidays, future plans, and in some cases, loss of a loved one. Our lives were turned upside down by lockdown, and although we’ve regained some semblance of normality since then, there remains so much uncertainty still. There’s no solid ground to stand on. There’s no secure base from which to explore, plan, and dream.

We don’t know what to expect in the next few weeks or months, let alone how we’ll be affected in the long-term.

We’ve been hit with the realisation that the way we lived globally was conducive to a pandemic, and it was only a matter of time.

And let’s not forget that this is happening against the backdrop of a climate crisis, which already has, and will continue to force us to change how we live. And the many other factors that create a challenging and often disheartening global social and political climate.

It seems clear to me that further changes lie ahead… hopefully not all bad… People have an incredible capacity and potential to create positive change. And crises, disasters, and challenges often come before significant positive change.

So, if you feel that this hasn’t been “your year”, you haven’t accomplished what you expected and hoped to, nothing went according to plan… you are not alone. Remind yourself of the context. It is a strange, chaotic, and at times, outright terrifying year.

This year, every one of us has had to adapt to unexpected and disruptive changes. And, if nothing else, that’s a bit of growth you can hopefully acknowledge, and feel a little pride in.

I admire people so much for their resilience, their ability to “just get on with it” – this is a phrase I’ve heard time and again from people who have coped with some of the most challenging and traumatic experiences one can imagine. It’s a reductionist phrase that I discourage anyone from using because it completely minimises the strength and determination of the people that use it. But it does highlight how resilient people are, without even thinking much of their own resilience.

Never underestimate your ability to get through difficult times, adapt, and eventually come out stronger, more skilled and more competent in some way (sometimes an unexpected way).

There is always something to learn (in other words, something to gain) from difficult times, and loss in particular. Loss, and how we respond to it, helps us realise the resources we have, and helps us strengthen them and acquire new resources. It helps us recognise what is meaningful and important to us, our values. This in turn can help to guide us.

To bring this back to the topic at hand – an autumn reflection (what can I say? Covid is a thought and conversation hijacker!) … a time to reflect on what we’ve learned, how we’ve grown, and the resources we have. A time to take stock and prepare for the winter – what self-care we need to practice, the resources and support we might need.

It can also be, if circumstances allow, a time to start thinking about the year ahead, and the seeds we want to sow come spring. If we’ve reflected on what we’ve learned and how we’ve grown, we can now reflect on how we want to apply that, changes we may want to make, directions we want to go in.

If this year has taught me anything, it’s that much in life isn’t within our control, so we need to take control of what is and be empowered by it.